ASK THE EXPERTS
Ask the Expert Forum: Raising a Family and Attending Medical School
Natalie Casagrande, a Citizen Potawatomi Native American, is a second-year medical student at the University of Kansas Medical Center and the mother of four children.
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher is a third-year medical student at the University of Toledo, School of Medicine and the mother of one child.
What you wanted to know about raising a family and applying to medical school:
What is an average day like for a medical student who is also a parent? Can you share tips or shortcuts on how to structure chore time, homework time for the kids, study time, etc.?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Being a parent and a medical student is really a juggling act. You have to fit in studying wherever you can. The hardest time for me was the first few weeks of medical school. I first had to figure out my learning and studying style. I am a visual learner, and I studied to understand concepts first, and then added in the details later. Based on this approach, I figured out how much time I had to get MOST of my day’s work accomplished. I realized that I did my best studying during the day time, even though my son also required a lot of my time during the day due to medical needs. My schedule is best described in compartments: days, evenings, and weekends.
For the first and second years of medical school, my class schedule on average was from 8:00 am to 2:00 pm with lunch at 12:00 pm. Immediately after lectures, I would review/study that day's lecture until it was time to pick up my son from daycare. On days that I knew I would be missing lectures, I listened to the podcasts that my school produced as I waited for my son’s therapy to be over. Then I’d drop him off at daycare and find a coffee shop close to his daycare to finish listening to lectures and review my notes.
After picking him up, usually around 4:30 pm, I’d play with him, make dinner, feed him and get him ready for bed. When my husband would get home, he would eat dinner, and then we would talk for a bit, and watch a little TV together. Then from 10:00 pm to 12:00 am (or 1:00 am), I would finish up my studying.
One day each weekend, I either catch up on my work or just review. Another day is for family time, which definitely has to be planned at least a week in advance. If not, we usually find something spontaneous to do or just spend time at home. As for chore time, I am fortunate that I have a spouse who helps out. My husband does a lot of household chores, and I help out more or less, depending on how crazy my week turns out to be.
Natalie Casagrande
The medical school that I attend podcasts their morning lectures, which allows me to stay home and study on my schedule. Since all four of my children are in school all day, this allows me to get good quality studying time while they are not here. Here’s my typical day: Wake up at 6:45 am, get the kids ready for school and drop them off at their school at 8:00 am Then, I go home and get some laundry in the wash and do dishes until about 9:00 am. At that time I study until the kids come home at 3:30 pm and then I give them snacks and prepare dinner. I will not study again until they go to bed, so I have about two hours -- in-between about 8:30 pm to 10:30 pm -- to hit the books. This type of schedule gives you the flexibility to be the type of parent who can help your children with their schoolwork, shuttle the kids to their activities, and just enjoy being with them in general.
^top of questions
I am a registered nurse seriously contemplating medical school. I also hold a BS in public affairs. The only problem is, I have a toddler who demands much of my time and attention. I would benefit greatly from the advice of someone who has successfully walked in my shoes.
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
My son was two months shy of his third birthday when I began medical school. At the time, my biggest concern was being able to find a really good child care facility that I was comfortable with. So, I would say once you decide on a school, find a daycare center, if you require one, well before school starts. In terms of being able to attend medical school and being a mom, it is definitely doable. The one thing that I had to deal with, and eventually had to get over, was the guilt of leaving my son in day care for a lengthy period of time. I would feel horrible if he was at day care for more than five hours. What I realized is that kids are just fine as long as they get attention. My absence affected me way more than it affected him. Also, once you get a rhythm going, everything else falls into place.
To that end, I strongly recommend that when you apply and go for your interviews, you make a point to get a feel for how each school reacts to you being a mother. When I came for my interview at my school, my son was part of the conversation and I did not feel that I was being evaluated on how being a mother would affect my school work. Some of the other schools that I applied to gave me the impression that they were thinking I couldn’t handle juggling being a mother and a medical student. Bottom line: Decide on a school that you feel will be accommodating to you being a mother.
Natalie Casagrande
Toddlers do require much of our time and attention. However, I believe medical school is possible, but the keyword is balance. I feel if I can be successful at medical school with four children, then you will also be successful. But, you will have to experiment and see what works best for you once you are in medical school. For example, my medical school gives us the option of attending live lectures or listening to them as podcasts later in the day. This affords me the opportunity to stay at home with a sick child, run some errands, or even just study at my own pace.
^top of questions
I am married with two kids and have decided to apply to medical school. Will having a family affect my chances of receiving financial aid?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Be sure to fill out a Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form which is the first step in determining your financial need. Having a family does not affect your chances of receiving financial aid, but it is important to realize that the cost of living is calculated according to the area where you attend school. Also, keep in mind that your cost of living only factors you in the budget – not your household members.
Editor's note: For additional information on financial aid, see the following AspiringDocs.org and AAMC resources: Ask the Experts: Paying for Medical School, FAQs: Financing Medical School, & First for Medical Education, Financial Literacy 101.
Natalie Casagrande
The best thing for you to do is to call the financial aid office at the school that you are applying to. All medical school students are required to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA), and the amount of subsidized/unsubsidized aid is determined based upon your financial status. Subsidized loans are loans where the government pays your interest on the loan while you are in school, so ideally you would like to get most of your loan money in this form.
^top of questions
I am a 25-year-old working mom with a seven-year-old and have decided on a career change. I want to apply to medical school but I am not sure where to begin. Can I start by getting my pre-med work done at a community college?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
If you do take courses at a community college, really try your best to get all A’s. I say this because I understand how applications are looked at because I used to be on the admissions committee at my school. A lot of times, the institution where the course is taken can add weight to your application. For instance, if you got a B at a four-year college in organic chemistry versus a B at a community college, the B at the four-year can potentially look better. On the other hand, if you cannot afford to go to the four year institution and attend a community college instead, and get A's in your courses while also holding down a job, that effort reflects strongly on your determination and work ethic.
Natalie Casagrande
Community colleges are a great way to fulfill the pre-med requirements. For example: English, Math, and Physics courses. You will want to take the courses that are more specific to your major at a university. Because medical schools are so competitive, it really says a lot when your transcript reflects good grades on more challenging courses, specifically at universities. Community colleges offer smaller class sizes, more one-on-one attention, whereas universities more closely resemble the medical school environment. I completed my first two years of pre-med courses at a community college, and the rest at a university.
^top of questions
In college I was a biology major but after graduating I got married and had three wonderful children, two boys and a girl. Since that time I have kept a passion for medicine and have always dreamed about going to medical school. I am prepared to finally pursue my goal, but I am not sure where to start as a nontraditional student. Any advice?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
I was also a nontraditional student. I had a four year break between graduating college and applying for medical school. So I definitely empathize with what you are going through. First, I would make sure that the courses you took in college fulfill requirements for applying to medical school. If your grades were not that great (as in less than a 3.0), then maybe look into taking some graduate level courses. Many schools have post-baccalaureate programs made for students who want to demonstrate that they can handle a medical school curriculum.
Also, you would need to take the MCAT® Exam if you haven't done so already. As you are completing your medical school applications, there are a few things that you should keep in mind and try to get across to the "decision makers." Since you haven’t been in school for a while, you should consider including the following in your application:
- Explanation of what you have been doing since you graduated from college. For instance what job(s) you’ve held to explain the gap in education;
- If you didn't have any exposure to the health care field in college, find physicians to shadow (preferably in the field that you think you might want to be in). It is also a good idea to find some volunteer work to do in the hospital. Bottom line is: medical schools like to see that you at least have an idea of what you are getting into;
- Definitely express your passion and desire to become a physician in your essay and be ready to explain why you cannot stay in your current job or doing something other than medicine – they like to see that you have really thought about it; and
- Finally, make sure you have a pretty good idea on the issues surrounding health care because they expect you to know some of the basics about the career you are choosing.
Natalie Casagrande
I would contact the medical school that you will be applying to and ask for a brochure that lists the requirements to attend that university. It would be a good idea to meet with someone in the admissions department, and ask them what suggestions they might have for you as you begin your journey. The next step for you would be to take the MCAT® Exam. I think the biggest challenge for you would be to relearn the basic sciences so that you can do well on the MCAT® Exam. Be encouraged that many people have entered medical school taking this path, and it is certainly achievable. Enrolling in a MCAT prep course could be very helpful because you would meet others who are also preparing for this exam, and have a group of people that you could also study with.
Editors note: For additional MCAT preparation opportunities, see the official MCAT® Exam, the Summer Medical and Dental Education Program, and the Explore Health Careers' list of pre-health enrichment programs.
^top of questions
As a single parent in college, I have found child care to be a challenge. In medical school, the demands on your time appear to be even greater than in undergraduate school. Do medical schools provide any services that help medical students with families?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Child care was one of the most challenging issues that I had to face especially when my husband also had a full time job. The first thing we did was investigate my state’s child care subsidy program. This is a program where, based on your household income, you can be eligible for partial or full subsidy for child care at a facility of your choosing, which also participates in the state program. Since my husband and I were down to one income (student loans are not considered income), we definitely qualified. However, the eligibility and requirements of such a program may vary from state to state.
Also, check with your school to see if you are eligible for additional financial aid for extraordinary expenses. The only negative with this option is that your total debt will be larger after graduation.
Natalie Casagrande
This is a question that would be best addressed at the particular school that you are applying to. My medical school doesn’t offer anything in the form of child care itself, but they do offer financial aid to help cover the costs of child care.
^top of questions
I have had several discussions with my wife about applying to medical school in the next year. She supports my decision 100 percent, but if I get accepted we will only have my wife's income to support us. Is it possible to work part time and attend medical school full time?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
In my opinion, the long term answer is – No. In the short term, I think that it is possible to get a part-time job and attend medical school full time. The problem is that something has to give, either studying time or family time. In the long run, it’s really not worth it. I know personally one of my classmates (also married with a six-year-old daughter at the time) who worked the first six months of the first year and her grades suffered. She eventually had to stop working. I would say to put off working. Then in your second year, as I did, you can become a tutor, if that is something available at your institution. You’ll get paid minimum wage, but you can make your own hours and it helps your studies.
Natalie Casagrande
I would highly discourage working part-time while going to medical school. Being in medical school alone is quite challenging. Medical school takes up so much of your time, plus you also want to spend time with your spouse. I would suggest making this decision after you have been in school for about two months and get a good feel for the time commitment that medical school requires. Then if you feel like you are satisfied with your grades and you feel like you have some extra time that would allow you to work, then you could make that decision at that time.
^top of questions
I have recently been accepted to medical school and I am beginning to worry about how my studies will take away from time that I spend with my spouse and my son. How do you divide your energy evenly between studies and family life? Can you strike a balance and still do well in medical school?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Thankfully, YES! You can strike a balance and still do well. I am proof of that. Before I continue, I want to stress that some days, you will fall short of the balance, and it's ok!
The hardest part was figuring out my schedule and organizing myself. But once I figured that out, the rest fell into place. It did NOT happen magically, but with my ultimate priorities in mind – my family and medical school – things worked out. My husband and I understood that over the next four years, I was going to be focused on doing well in medical school. That way, a lot of the potential arguments about me studying too much or changing our plans because I had to study were prevented. It was also on me to keep family as my focus, so I did everything possible to not put off studying, so that my free time was spent with my family.
You really have to also give yourself "me" time. If that involves some of the time hanging with your med school friends (best time being after a test), or doing something without your spouse, it will be for the better for your sanity.
Natalie Casagrande
First of all congratulations on your acceptance! You have worked very hard to get this far, and with planning and organizing you will also be successful at medical school. I think the biggest obstacle is the first month of school, when you are so busy trying to calm your fears of being successful at medical school. But after that, you will start to find your own system that works for you, and you will be able to spend quality time with your spouse and your son.
The best advice I can give you is to be 100 percent involved in whatever you are doing for the moment. For example, when you are studying, limit disruptions and focus 100 percent on your studies. If that requires you to study away from home, do it. Then, when you are at home, you know you’ve given 100 percent to your studies, and you don’t feel guilty for spending quality time with your family.
^top of questions
ASK THE EXPERTS
Ask the Expert Forum: Raising a Family and Attending Medical School
Natalie Casagrande, a Citizen Potawatomi Native American, is a second-year medical student at the University of Kansas Medical Center and the mother of four children.
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher is a third-year medical student at the University of Toledo, School of Medicine and the mother of one child.
What you wanted to know about raising a family and applying to medical school:
What is an average day like for a medical student who is also a parent? Can you share tips or shortcuts on how to structure chore time, homework time for the kids, study time, etc.?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Being a parent and a medical student is really a juggling act. You have to fit in studying wherever you can. The hardest time for me was the first few weeks of medical school. I first had to figure out my learning and studying style. I am a visual learner, and I studied to understand concepts first, and then added in the details later. Based on this approach, I figured out how much time I had to get MOST of my day’s work accomplished. I realized that I did my best studying during the day time, even though my son also required a lot of my time during the day due to medical needs. My schedule is best described in compartments: days, evenings, and weekends.
For the first and second years of medical school, my class schedule on average was from 8:00 am to 2:00 pm with lunch at 12:00 pm. Immediately after lectures, I would review/study that day's lecture until it was time to pick up my son from daycare. On days that I knew I would be missing lectures, I listened to the podcasts that my school produced as I waited for my son’s therapy to be over. Then I’d drop him off at daycare and find a coffee shop close to his daycare to finish listening to lectures and review my notes.
After picking him up, usually around 4:30 pm, I’d play with him, make dinner, feed him and get him ready for bed. When my husband would get home, he would eat dinner, and then we would talk for a bit, and watch a little TV together. Then from 10:00 pm to 12:00 am (or 1:00 am), I would finish up my studying.
One day each weekend, I either catch up on my work or just review. Another day is for family time, which definitely has to be planned at least a week in advance. If not, we usually find something spontaneous to do or just spend time at home. As for chore time, I am fortunate that I have a spouse who helps out. My husband does a lot of household chores, and I help out more or less, depending on how crazy my week turns out to be.
Natalie Casagrande
The medical school that I attend podcasts their morning lectures, which allows me to stay home and study on my schedule. Since all four of my children are in school all day, this allows me to get good quality studying time while they are not here. Here’s my typical day: Wake up at 6:45 am, get the kids ready for school and drop them off at their school at 8:00 am Then, I go home and get some laundry in the wash and do dishes until about 9:00 am. At that time I study until the kids come home at 3:30 pm and then I give them snacks and prepare dinner. I will not study again until they go to bed, so I have about two hours -- in-between about 8:30 pm to 10:30 pm -- to hit the books. This type of schedule gives you the flexibility to be the type of parent who can help your children with their schoolwork, shuttle the kids to their activities, and just enjoy being with them in general.
^top of questions
I am a registered nurse seriously contemplating medical school. I also hold a BS in public affairs. The only problem is, I have a toddler who demands much of my time and attention. I would benefit greatly from the advice of someone who has successfully walked in my shoes.
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
My son was two months shy of his third birthday when I began medical school. At the time, my biggest concern was being able to find a really good child care facility that I was comfortable with. So, I would say once you decide on a school, find a daycare center, if you require one, well before school starts. In terms of being able to attend medical school and being a mom, it is definitely doable. The one thing that I had to deal with, and eventually had to get over, was the guilt of leaving my son in day care for a lengthy period of time. I would feel horrible if he was at day care for more than five hours. What I realized is that kids are just fine as long as they get attention. My absence affected me way more than it affected him. Also, once you get a rhythm going, everything else falls into place.
To that end, I strongly recommend that when you apply and go for your interviews, you make a point to get a feel for how each school reacts to you being a mother. When I came for my interview at my school, my son was part of the conversation and I did not feel that I was being evaluated on how being a mother would affect my school work. Some of the other schools that I applied to gave me the impression that they were thinking I couldn’t handle juggling being a mother and a medical student. Bottom line: Decide on a school that you feel will be accommodating to you being a mother.
Natalie Casagrande
Toddlers do require much of our time and attention. However, I believe medical school is possible, but the keyword is balance. I feel if I can be successful at medical school with four children, then you will also be successful. But, you will have to experiment and see what works best for you once you are in medical school. For example, my medical school gives us the option of attending live lectures or listening to them as podcasts later in the day. This affords me the opportunity to stay at home with a sick child, run some errands, or even just study at my own pace.
^top of questions
I am married with two kids and have decided to apply to medical school. Will having a family affect my chances of receiving financial aid?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Be sure to fill out a Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form which is the first step in determining your financial need. Having a family does not affect your chances of receiving financial aid, but it is important to realize that the cost of living is calculated according to the area where you attend school. Also, keep in mind that your cost of living only factors you in the budget – not your household members.
Editor's note: For additional information on financial aid, see the following AspiringDocs.org and AAMC resources: Ask the Experts: Paying for Medical School, FAQs: Financing Medical School, & First for Medical Education, Financial Literacy 101.
Natalie Casagrande
The best thing for you to do is to call the financial aid office at the school that you are applying to. All medical school students are required to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA), and the amount of subsidized/unsubsidized aid is determined based upon your financial status. Subsidized loans are loans where the government pays your interest on the loan while you are in school, so ideally you would like to get most of your loan money in this form.
^top of questions
I am a 25-year-old working mom with a seven-year-old and have decided on a career change. I want to apply to medical school but I am not sure where to begin. Can I start by getting my pre-med work done at a community college?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
If you do take courses at a community college, really try your best to get all A’s. I say this because I understand how applications are looked at because I used to be on the admissions committee at my school. A lot of times, the institution where the course is taken can add weight to your application. For instance, if you got a B at a four-year college in organic chemistry versus a B at a community college, the B at the four-year can potentially look better. On the other hand, if you cannot afford to go to the four year institution and attend a community college instead, and get A's in your courses while also holding down a job, that effort reflects strongly on your determination and work ethic.
Natalie Casagrande
Community colleges are a great way to fulfill the pre-med requirements. For example: English, Math, and Physics courses. You will want to take the courses that are more specific to your major at a university. Because medical schools are so competitive, it really says a lot when your transcript reflects good grades on more challenging courses, specifically at universities. Community colleges offer smaller class sizes, more one-on-one attention, whereas universities more closely resemble the medical school environment. I completed my first two years of pre-med courses at a community college, and the rest at a university.
^top of questions
In college I was a biology major but after graduating I got married and had three wonderful children, two boys and a girl. Since that time I have kept a passion for medicine and have always dreamed about going to medical school. I am prepared to finally pursue my goal, but I am not sure where to start as a nontraditional student. Any advice?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
I was also a nontraditional student. I had a four year break between graduating college and applying for medical school. So I definitely empathize with what you are going through. First, I would make sure that the courses you took in college fulfill requirements for applying to medical school. If your grades were not that great (as in less than a 3.0), then maybe look into taking some graduate level courses. Many schools have post-baccalaureate programs made for students who want to demonstrate that they can handle a medical school curriculum.
Also, you would need to take the MCAT® Exam if you haven't done so already. As you are completing your medical school applications, there are a few things that you should keep in mind and try to get across to the "decision makers." Since you haven’t been in school for a while, you should consider including the following in your application:
- Explanation of what you have been doing since you graduated from college. For instance what job(s) you’ve held to explain the gap in education;
- If you didn't have any exposure to the health care field in college, find physicians to shadow (preferably in the field that you think you might want to be in). It is also a good idea to find some volunteer work to do in the hospital. Bottom line is: medical schools like to see that you at least have an idea of what you are getting into;
- Definitely express your passion and desire to become a physician in your essay and be ready to explain why you cannot stay in your current job or doing something other than medicine – they like to see that you have really thought about it; and
- Finally, make sure you have a pretty good idea on the issues surrounding health care because they expect you to know some of the basics about the career you are choosing.
Natalie Casagrande
I would contact the medical school that you will be applying to and ask for a brochure that lists the requirements to attend that university. It would be a good idea to meet with someone in the admissions department, and ask them what suggestions they might have for you as you begin your journey. The next step for you would be to take the MCAT® Exam. I think the biggest challenge for you would be to relearn the basic sciences so that you can do well on the MCAT® Exam. Be encouraged that many people have entered medical school taking this path, and it is certainly achievable. Enrolling in a MCAT prep course could be very helpful because you would meet others who are also preparing for this exam, and have a group of people that you could also study with.
Editors note: For additional MCAT preparation opportunities, see the official MCAT® Exam, the Summer Medical and Dental Education Program, and the Explore Health Careers' list of pre-health enrichment programs.
^top of questions
As a single parent in college, I have found child care to be a challenge. In medical school, the demands on your time appear to be even greater than in undergraduate school. Do medical schools provide any services that help medical students with families?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Child care was one of the most challenging issues that I had to face especially when my husband also had a full time job. The first thing we did was investigate my state’s child care subsidy program. This is a program where, based on your household income, you can be eligible for partial or full subsidy for child care at a facility of your choosing, which also participates in the state program. Since my husband and I were down to one income (student loans are not considered income), we definitely qualified. However, the eligibility and requirements of such a program may vary from state to state.
Also, check with your school to see if you are eligible for additional financial aid for extraordinary expenses. The only negative with this option is that your total debt will be larger after graduation.
Natalie Casagrande
This is a question that would be best addressed at the particular school that you are applying to. My medical school doesn’t offer anything in the form of child care itself, but they do offer financial aid to help cover the costs of child care.
^top of questions
I have had several discussions with my wife about applying to medical school in the next year. She supports my decision 100 percent, but if I get accepted we will only have my wife's income to support us. Is it possible to work part time and attend medical school full time?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
In my opinion, the long term answer is – No. In the short term, I think that it is possible to get a part-time job and attend medical school full time. The problem is that something has to give, either studying time or family time. In the long run, it’s really not worth it. I know personally one of my classmates (also married with a six-year-old daughter at the time) who worked the first six months of the first year and her grades suffered. She eventually had to stop working. I would say to put off working. Then in your second year, as I did, you can become a tutor, if that is something available at your institution. You’ll get paid minimum wage, but you can make your own hours and it helps your studies.
Natalie Casagrande
I would highly discourage working part-time while going to medical school. Being in medical school alone is quite challenging. Medical school takes up so much of your time, plus you also want to spend time with your spouse. I would suggest making this decision after you have been in school for about two months and get a good feel for the time commitment that medical school requires. Then if you feel like you are satisfied with your grades and you feel like you have some extra time that would allow you to work, then you could make that decision at that time.
^top of questions
I have recently been accepted to medical school and I am beginning to worry about how my studies will take away from time that I spend with my spouse and my son. How do you divide your energy evenly between studies and family life? Can you strike a balance and still do well in medical school?
Theresa Adeliyi-Burcher
Thankfully, YES! You can strike a balance and still do well. I am proof of that. Before I continue, I want to stress that some days, you will fall short of the balance, and it's ok!
The hardest part was figuring out my schedule and organizing myself. But once I figured that out, the rest fell into place. It did NOT happen magically, but with my ultimate priorities in mind – my family and medical school – things worked out. My husband and I understood that over the next four years, I was going to be focused on doing well in medical school. That way, a lot of the potential arguments about me studying too much or changing our plans because I had to study were prevented. It was also on me to keep family as my focus, so I did everything possible to not put off studying, so that my free time was spent with my family.
You really have to also give yourself "me" time. If that involves some of the time hanging with your med school friends (best time being after a test), or doing something without your spouse, it will be for the better for your sanity.
Natalie Casagrande
First of all congratulations on your acceptance! You have worked very hard to get this far, and with planning and organizing you will also be successful at medical school. I think the biggest obstacle is the first month of school, when you are so busy trying to calm your fears of being successful at medical school. But after that, you will start to find your own system that works for you, and you will be able to spend quality time with your spouse and your son.
The best advice I can give you is to be 100 percent involved in whatever you are doing for the moment. For example, when you are studying, limit disruptions and focus 100 percent on your studies. If that requires you to study away from home, do it. Then, when you are at home, you know you’ve given 100 percent to your studies, and you don’t feel guilty for spending quality time with your family.
^top of questions
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